How to get over a breakup


Everyone tells you what to do. Your friends give you that ‘you should get out there, put yourself on the market again’. Your parents send you straight down depression road with ‘when are you two getting back together?’. He/She will then say ‘stop stalking me on Insta’. How to get over a breakup shouldn’t start from those clichè things others say (when you need them the most): these people are not doing everything in their pjs and turned their beds into a cocoon/dumpyard/dining table.

If you are, most likely, you should take a look at the things to do after a breakup posted directly around the net as well as following our tips on what NOT to do when love ends.

Stalking on Social media

How to get over someone starts from looking at every single post, like, every scroll, profile seen by your ex: over obsessing to a point where you don’t post anything on social media as you are too busy peeking at your ex’s in search for answers to useless questions, is the way forward in saying goodbye and starting from scratch. (!)

Shit usually lasts forever

You will be eternally alone, no one will ever fancy you again, you will never have sex again. So stop thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel, shit is dark and stays dark. How long does it take to get over a breakup? You will never get over this breakup!

All you can binge on

How to get over a breakup often reads How to stop your mind from going over things again and again, putting an end to those pliers squeezing your heart tight: the logical thing to do would then be erasing your mind or  memory in the desperate attempt of quitting thoughts of your ex altogether. But since you cannot do this, suffocating pain in the entire tub of chocolate ice cream is the way, although it is a trend better left for cheesy rom-coms: you might need something a little stronger!

Post breakup and glowing, cause you are high AF

Getting rid of him (her?) has lifted a huge weight off your shoulders and it shows, your complexion is impeccable, your skin is radiant and you look as you did 5 years ago. Or, you think all this,  but just because you are in Canada and it is now legal.

The more you go over it, the better it is

It’s in the definition: how to get over someone, starts from going over it again and again. Think about all the stupid things you said to your ex or how you could have been more careful and not get caught cheating.


Alessia Cara – Not Today

Keep the wedding dress

Why disposing of the proof you have utterly failed at finding the right one and basically invested all your money and life in somebody who left you there, one step away from the altar?

It was all your fault

How to get over someone when you still obviously love them even if, never mind the fact they are not interested in you, but actually are into the opposite gender? It was all your fault, you knew it from day 1.

Things to do after a breakup: listen to Thank you, next! (Ariana Grande)

One day I’ll walk down the aisle
Holding hands with my mama
I’ll be thanking my dad
‘Cause she grew from the drama
Only wanna do it once, real bad
Gon’ make that shit last
God forbid something happens
Least this song is a smash (Song is a smash)

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