How to love yourself, a learning process


Often we think no one loves us because there must be something wrong with us, either we are uninteresting, or we showcase too much of that so called baggage; truth is, it is a matter of ‘Like for Like’ to use an expression we are all familiar with thanks to social media. The more you love yourself and have a balanced relationship with your inner self, the more the people around you will grow fond of you.

Learning to love yourself is the process that will quickly turn you into a magnet for good things: positivity attracts positivity, negativity always negativity. So, how can we undo all we have done that makes us cringe over when we look at ourselves in the mirror? More than an undoing matter, learning self-love is about accepting, discerning your life in what you can and cannot control, turning a bad into a positive and always, always, finding that silver lining.

We will be taking your through this learning process by making you look at your inner self in the past, the present and a future perspective.


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How to love yourself: the PAST

What usually makes us ‘dislike’ ourselves the most and works as an obstacle in learning self-love is our past. Either we regret decisions we made or feel a sense of unfairness in what might have happened that ruined our lives. Both ways lead to a general sense of dissatisfaction, unfulfillment, and the perception our lives is not just in our hands.  

Learn to make mistakes

We are all humans and what makes us so special isn’t the animal instinct driving us towards success; what makes us special is our ability to reason and find a logic behind things. Our mistakes have made humankind possible, the multiple attempts in trying to get something right. If you hadn’t made that mistake, it would have meant you hadn’t even tried.

Now you know, moving on.

Learn to appreciate your improvements

You have to be able to strip off all the unfulfilled desires still lurking on your shoulders; maybe you are not earning 100k a year, maybe you are not married yet, or travelled the world, but surely you have come a long way since you used to rely on your mum and dad’s handouts.

Accepting criticism from others

No matter how hard you try, people will always have an opinion on what you do. Don’t be disappointed if they show no sympathy or understanding but on the contrary, seem well intentioned in ripping apart all you have done and effort that come with it. Some of your friends may be more brutal than others at giving you critique, some will patronise you: whatever they say, learning self-love is about looking at things from a different perspective, in this case, the one of those who criticise you.


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How to build self-esteem: the PRESENT

Stop worrying about what it was and what it will be. Make a difference now. Take action on the things you can control in your life now. The learning process in how to love yourself starts with self-acceptance; once we have looked at the past with positivity we can accept the ‘person’ we have become now, mentally and physically.

Your past is what made you you

Remember that your uniqueness is what will make your stand out when it comes to being loved, liked, recruited. Your past is what gave you all the USPs you will need in life to be the person you want to become, there’s no such thing as the perfect human being, but there is the ‘very interesting human being’, someone with something to say’, or ‘the kind and giving’ type of person.

Self-love is about learning to take care of yourself

Enjoying inner-self in the present starts with looking after your body and your spirit, and you will be surprised in finding out how much these two are interconnected – as science demonstrates. The body is made of physical matter and does work thanks to chemical reactions; our emotions are nothing more than phenomena triggered by a certain chemical reaction.

  • Nutrition: feed yourself healthy, not necessarily to lose weight, but eat in a way your body feels energised and light at the same time, whilst satisfying your taste buds.


  • Physical activity: getting rid of toxins through fitness is one of the most natural remedies against stress. Get those endorphins going!


  • Social relationships through sports: sports classes are the perfect spot to pick up new friends, to allow you some time to un-focus from you.


  • Mindfulness: we have written plenty on healing meditation, energy healing and even tried some of these techniques out to re-establish a balance between our body and our mind. Read more about them here.


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How to improve yourself: the FUTURE

Learning to love yourself starts with learning from your mistakes and invest in the future. You can only appreciate yourself more if you help yourself at changing the things in your life you have power on.

Set yourself smaller goals

Success doesn’t come overnight, it’s a process. Break projects into smaller phases and set each one of them as your goals: the sense of achievement they will give you will push you to do more and put more effort into the following step.

Make decisions

The standstill position is the way up to a vicious circle of dissatisfaction. Making decision is the only way to reach accomplishments, change your life and reach the things that really matter to you. We are not talking about drastic decisions necessarily, but more the action of stepping up and do that bit you can do towards the right direction.

What will you do after reading this?


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