Culture

Meeting his parents: the full guide

14.12.2018

The holiday season means many things: presents, giving up on your diet, romantic getaways and yes, that dreadful trip to his family household where you will be finally meeting your in-laws.

But why do we all dread it so much? Is it because we know how awkward the whole process is going to be from the moment you have to decide what to wear when meeting his parents,  to when you realise that posh wine they have poured into your glass has just gone straight to your head? Or is it because you *meeting boyfriend’s parents* is actually you *judging if he is like his misogynist dad* or *how to stay away from his control-freak mum*?

Whatever it is that might put you off the idea, we have found a way to make you look forward to meeting his parents as much as you can’t wait to go out with your BFFs.

Meeting his parents: Do's and Donts

Don’t overdo anything

 

. makeup

It is one thing trying to look at your best and put some slap on, but you don’t want to look like you are actually going out with your best friends. If it’s a daytime gathering, all the better to experiment with a neutral palette to look naturally beautiful.

. drinking

It’s OK to toast with a glass of bubbly or two, but don’t turn meeting his parents to a binge drink feast. You will not stand a chance of making a good impression.

. talking

TALK IS CHEAP – as Chet Faker says: it doesn’t mean you have to stay in your boyfriend’s shadow during the whole thing, but just avoid oversharing. There will be plenty of time for you to do that in the future

Don’t PDA

Public display of affections is generally a costume not taken very well in many countries, Britain surprisingly in first place (nothing like the recent bans on kissing in public in Pakistan and Indonesia), although I did have to sit through a whole Boxing Day buffet gathering when my nephew’s tongue was nowhere to be seen except in his new girlfriend’s mouth. That was a meeting his ‘whole family’ situation BTW.

Don’t go into…

Religion, politics and sex are social taboos still in 2018. Even if you know where your in-laws stand on political views, it’s better if you don’t initiate a conversation on immigration to then be disappointed at how far right they are.

Don’t watch ‘Meet The Parents’

Do Help out

Or at least offer to help out. They might see how unfit you are to do the washing up with your T-Rex manicure though and tell you ‘Oh, don’t worry about that’.

Do Bring a little gift

Turning up with a little pressie for your in-laws says you are cute and mannered, but bring something ‘neutral’ and appropriate. You might want to do some background research to see if even the most innocuous bottle of wine could cause some stir – a recovering alcoholic is hiding behind your father in law.

Do Maintain your own traditions

No one is telling you to forget you are vegan or that back home you unwrap Christmas presents on your own, just find a way to convey it politely. Meeting his parents is also a chance for them to get to know you.

What to wear when meeting his parents

Meeting his parents is Judgment Day for some of you girls and panic attacks in the wardrobe are just there waiting for you to spice things up while you are also panicking over the fact you are black and they are white.

A choice of clothing that never puts you under any negative light is semi-conservative and one style that works really well on this front is the minimalistic one, which always brings out personality in the right way.  Opt for neutral tones, zero frills and of course a very reduced amount of skin on show.

But, if you are meeting them for the first time over the Christmas Holidays, you should go for something a little bit more festive – you can check out all the best looks to copy for Christmas here.

 

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