Skinny ass b***** Santa’s coming to town?

21.12.2018 | By ELENA LONGARI

Nope. She embodies self-confidence, body positivity as well as being the one opening the door to Santa as  someone other than a white straight guy. We are reflecting on how dangerous it is for future men to think there’s a magical man, and not a magical woman,  who is always happy, generous and can decide a little on your fate.

What if kids grew up with the idea Santa wasn’t a man, and so with for once, a ‘positive’ image of a woman?

Who TF is Santa?

We all know of how the figure of Santa Claus has ended up being this stereotypical man, married to Mrs Claus and that’s to be found in connection with Christianity. Known also as Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, he is the modern version of Saint Nicholas of Myra, also known as Nicholas of Bari: he was an early Christian bishop of the ancient Greek city of Myra in Asia Minor during the time of the Roman Empire.                                                                                    

So this is why Santa Claus is a man, white and married to a woman, reflecting all the important values of the traditional family portrayed by Christianity.

Modern society is very much loyal to its most rooted traditions, on a cultural and historical point of view, but is able to interpret them and adapt them to reflect its most recent revolutions. I’m not one of those arguing that planet earth is flat, although it could be a theory developed by society to adapt to its blissful yet powerful ignorance.

Has a kid ever asked you ‘is Santa married’?

I’m not even amongst those saying God is a woman, as per now, the world hasn’t been given a male stereotype to look up to, as in what does God wear, what accessories does he use and so on. Although my 5-year-old asked me ‘Is Santa God?’ after we had told him Santa can always see if he’s been good and will decide if he’ll put him on the naughty list or not. Another kid argues ‘Santa is not God, but he has cameras to watch us’. Kids perceives Santa as an entity who can , indeed, decide; he’s above everything and is a bit magical, but is also a very generous person. Little do they care if he wears trousers or not, if he’s got boobs or not, never mind if he’s into boys or girls.

What if Santa was …?

But why can’t Santa be a sassy blonde? Or an older version of Meghan Markle? Or a softer interpretation of Wonder Woman? Or for my sake, The Queen of England?

It doesn’t end to man or woman, some have already fed the masses with ideas on how Santa might be better depicted as gender neutral.

The idea of ‘a magical generous MAN’ that can judge you is dangerous

More than ‘how should Santa be represented’ is ‘What Santa represents’ that we should be reflecting on: he embodies that jolly spirit, generosity as well productivity, since he’s been moved up to Lapland and built the largest factory in the world, employing thousands of elves. So why should kids think all these values are only destined to a man? Kids’ brains are like sponges and the idea that only a straight white guy can be all those things at once, and still be jolly, quickly sets in.


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Shouldn’t we think of suggesting that Santa is a woman at least to see if this all feminism and #metoo buzz over the last year isn’t motivated by a male dominatrix entity that rules the world, and only he can decide if a man should be punished or not?


If men grew up thinking Santa was a woman, wouldn’t they see women differently altogether?

Jollier at least, rather than winey.